Peace was not an Accident
How awareness, not circumstance, became my path to peace.
For a long time, I thought peace was something that happened to other people.
Something you arrived at if life finally settled down.
I see now that I had been shaping my world all along—gently, unconsciously—trying to create a sense of safety with the tools I had at the time.
In those years, my mind was often in charge. Fear spoke first. I didn’t have much guidance, only a tender heart and a deep wish to belong. I moved through life open and searching, longing for love, affection, and connection wherever they seemed possible.
And because I wanted love so much, I accepted what looked like it.
I stayed close to people and situations that didn’t feel good, but felt familiar. I said yes when something inside me whispered no. Not because I didn’t care for myself, but because at that level of awareness, being connected felt better than being alone.
Looking back, I don’t see someone careless.
I see someone sensitive, unanchored, and doing her best.
My awareness then was narrow, shaped by survival. When fear is running the system, consciousness contracts. Choices aren’t made from presence, but from urgency. From the quiet hope that this time, love might stay.
Peace didn’t come when my life changed.
It came when my attention did.
Slowly, I began to notice my inner world. The difference between feeling activated and feeling settled. Between reaching outward and resting inward. Between the pull of longing and the steadiness of resonance.
I started to feel my body again. To listen. To pause.
As my awareness softened and widened, my choices followed. I stopped asking, Will this fill the emptiness? and began asking, Does this feel calm? Does this feel kind to my nervous system?
Peace, I’ve learned, isn’t the absence of grief or desire.
It’s the ability to stay present with them.
It’s a sense of safety that grows from within.
A quiet trust in myself.
A gentler way of being in relationship—with others, and with my own heart.
I still lead with tenderness. That hasn’t changed.
What’s changed is that I’m no longer lost inside it.
The inner spaces I create now are slower and more spacious. There is room to breathe. Room to listen. Room to let love arrive without force.
And the love that meets me here feels different—
not rushed or overwhelming,
but steady, warm, and real.
I am grateful to be here now—present, aware, and no longer arranging my life around fear.
This reflection is part of an ongoing exploration of awareness and remembering.
9 Comments
Noni Pivetta
What a beautiful journey of self discovery and thank you for sharing. I have been aware of your quiet now time and I am delighted by it. See you soon.
Jennifer Anthony
Thank you Noni, we are lifelong learners you and I, I am always peaceful in your presence.
Sandy Mason-Kennedy
What a wonderful and inspiring blog Jen. You have always been a beautiful shining light to others. So glad to hear you are on this peaceful journey. xoxo
Jennifer Anthony
Hi Sandy,
Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate the support and love you have always shown me, He will always be my sister!
Jennifer Anthony
Thank you Sandy, love you!
Leanne Taylor
What a beautiful and courageous narrative of your journey. You speak for all of us as you put into words how vulnerability has graciously deepened our awareness of the oneness in finding stillness in order to find peace. Each of our journeys such as yours is layered and woven with traumas, tragedies and pain that, if we choose, evolve into surrender of self and allowing love to become who we truly are. Thank you Jennifer for putting into words the simplicity in which we can create from reflection.
Jennifer Anthony
Thank you,
Leanne I love you so much!
Thank you for the grace, love, courage and wisdom you have shared, i’m always learning from you and I’m grateful for your friendship.
Deb Olafson
Jennifer this is an amazing post and I read it several times before commenting because it feels like you had reached inside me and reiterated my feelings. “… being connected felt better than being alone”. I’ve slowly left these situations/people and am always working towards a more honest me and not saying yes when I really want to say no. I look forward to your next post and thank you for putting into words what I haven’t been able to articulate. My 2026 mantra is to be brave and this fits perfectly.
Jennifer Anthony
Dearest Deb,
I’m so grateful you related to this post, that’s why I decided to create this blog.
The beautiful thing about trauma and awakening is trauma turns into wisdom, this wisdom elevates our feelings and thinking into gratitude for the ability to grow and experience life on life’s terms!
We survived, we are not victims but life students becoming one with our consciousness, our energy and our Higher Power!
When you have experiential wisdom, you are in a place to help others find themselves and create peace in their lives, which is the way it’s supposed to be✨♥️